Braamer
male, 29 |
society integration non-specialist
Konstanz / Germany
member since 12.09.2004
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A soundtrack to the movie of my life:(work in progress)
Bach, Prelude and Fugue in C minor....... Scene: A scrawny chunk of flesh emerges from its mothers womb, Its pissed off because now it has to live, and do ridiculous things like breathing , and eating, and... thinking, about horrible things like existentialism, and vaginas. It wishes it could go back to nonexistence, it was so much easier.
Aphex Twin, Nannou........ Scene: The scrawny chunk has grown a bit, and now has things like, hair, and descended testicles. After the parents put him into his bed, he stays awake for hours as his imagination paints his room with vivid colorful dancing characters, who spin and twirl in synchronous harmony. He feels strange, almost as though his whole body is becoming fat, and then skinny, and fat again. He is happy.
Any evangelical church hymn......... Scene: He is sitting in a classroom full of children singing about how much they love god. He dosnt know who god is, but he sings along anyhow so as to avoid drawing any attention to himself.
Bad Religion, No Control.........Scene: Sitting on the sofa watching a documentary about continental drift, and plate tectonics, wondering why he was always taught that the world is only 5000 years old when it obviously isnt. He begins to feel the stirrings of rebellion.
Meshuggah, New Millenium Cyanide Christ .........Scene: Although unable to prove it scientifically, he is convinced the universe is godless, and anarchism is the answer to all of the worlds problems. He is walking through the suburbs, the summer sun is cooking him in his black clothes, but he thinks he looks cool, and walks proud, sure that he has that simple recipe for creating a utopian world.
Roni Size, Brown Paper Bag .............Scene: He is riding in a car with his close friend. He has boxes on his lap, and around his feet, they fill the back seat, and the trunk. The boxes are full of car stereo equipment, which they quietly removed from a store in the middle of the night. His fingers tremble with adrenaline, and his brace filled smile lights up the night.
1st of tha month, K&D Remix .........Scene: In his car, producing obscene sound pressure levels, he drives through the well lit suburban streets, inbibing a narcotic to keep the endorphins flowing in his brain, He feels untouchable, invincible. He climbs up a cell phone transmission tower, and lies on the platform at its top. He gazes out over the sprawling midwestern city, and places a small square of paper on his tounge.
Radiohead, Pyramid Song ..........Scene: Lying, face down on his mattress, on the floor of the county jail. He is weeping quietly, trying not to let his cellmate notice his tears. He is tortured by his choices now, and what was so simple before, has become immensely complicated. His choices have damaged the wellbeing of others, particularly those who care for him.
Tricky, Ponderosa .............Scene: Pulling weeds along a walking path, he stops for a drink of water, he is happy to be outside, and working, even if he isnt getting paid for it yet. He became aware that crime indeed does not pay, and the only way to afford the toys he wants, is by working. So he works like a machine.
Nick Drake, Pink Moon............Scene: He gets a new job and is now making obscene amounts of money for someone his age, He purchases all the things he has always wanted. He is flying down the highway at night, on the back wheel of his motorcycle as the people in the cars he is passing shake their heads. Adrenaline is the new drug of choice
Whatever Lola Wants, Gotan Project Remix...........Scene: Motorcycles are collecting dust now, as are all the other material belongings he owns, after a hiking trip in canada, he realizes that the void in his life cannot be filled with goods. He is cooking shrimp for the beautiful canadian girl with whom he has fallen in love, she kisses him as he is holding the spatula, and they dance together in the cozy kitchen of their little house. He is truly happy
Bob Marley, Three Little Birds..........Scene: He had been waiting for her to come home, but she never came. He is in his work van, franticly following the path she drives every morning to school. Fearing the worst, he is screaming at the top of his lungs, hoping desperately she is ok. After a torturous thirty minute trip, he finally arrives at her parents, only to find the cold nauseating reality... After leaving their house in the morning, her car had been crushed between a cement truck, and a semi, it had burst into flames, and she had burned alive inside. His happiness leaves.
Jack Johnson, Traffic in the sky..........Scene: Sitting on a plane headed to New Zealand, he is staring out the window at the stars. His months of planning had finally come to fruition, and he was truly going to be spending the next six months in a country on the other side of the world. An excitement stirs in him that he thought had died with his girlfriend.
Bob Dylan, Fourth Time Around...........Scene: Its late at night, on a rainy christmas eve, he is laying on a blanket in the sand, with a beautiful german girl, getting soaked. He smiles when he looks into her eyes, because he feels somthing stir inside him that he had missed terribly.
Herb Alpert, The Lonely Bull..........Scene: He is sitting with her in the back of their car, drinking thier usual morning coffee, as a pod of dolphins jump and play in the ocean next to them. He sits amazed by the perfection of the trip, and how much more amazing it is to share it with someone special.
Coldplay, Dont Panic....Scene: Sitting on a pier staring at the ferry that is now taking away the new girl with whom he has fallen. Several amazing months of travel together in one of the most beautiful places in the world drip down his cheeks as salty tears. Her swolen eyes gazing longingly from the departing boat tell him this is not the end.
Xavier Rudd, G.B.A......Scene: Quietly working by himself, letting his mind dance the way it loves. He is back home now, and everything is erily normal, He would be annoyed, but he is too distracted by the upcoming visit of his German lover, and the excitement of sharing his rather interesting life with a foreign national.
Jack Johnson, Constellations.... Scene: Its a warm summer evening in chicago, they lay together on very soft grass, letting the tensions of a long separation melt away, she invites him to live with her in Germany, and he accepts, perpetuating the adventure of life.
Fat Freddys Drop, Wandering Eye.....Scene: Laying in bed, he looks out the window at a beautiful lake flanked by the lush green rolling hills of switzerland and germany, he feels helpless here, the language confuses him, and saps his confidence, but he finds endless help from his love, and boiling strength inside himelf. The future looks difficult, but not overwhelming. exactly the way he likes it.
(more to come as my life meanders along)
*for those who have asked, all events listed are indeed real, and unexagerated, including the death of miss Shannon Orr, who was killed two years ago the day of this entry. I loved her. She was 21 years old |
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