jjmilne1
male, 19 |
Student/Musician/Bit of a bum
Birmingham/Perry Barr / United Kingdom
member since 22.09.2007
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I grew up in a small town in warwickshire where I leant how to make Jam and cook cakes. Somedays I wish I could join the W.I just so I can do all these things often. I'm half londener and half farm boy. I've lived in this area since I can remember until recently I moved to the city. Part of me misses the countryside but my london half is really contempt. I spend most my days smoking and writing. Writing is one of the few things that I can do and I really enjoy it. To me the worst experience I can have is standing in the middle of a night club and wanting to write so find my self scrawling poetry on toilet walls when drunk in the hope I go back sometime later.
As I grew up in a small town I was sheltered till I was about fourteen. I thought I'd lost all my innonce at the moment at one drunken party laying on the floor half passed out, I didn't understand till now that I lost it all at 17. Life seems to be a series of events where I try to respond to the situations I'm in. In reality I react. I'm a reactionary person and find myself bouncing off things going on around me. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I love each of them. One day I fell in love with a guy and we spent over a year together, I learnt a lot about myself and now feel more my true self no we have separated. Part of me wants to be free and then part wants to be tied down. I can be very irresponsible just like my mother so sometimes like her I feel I should find someone to keep me in line. The most important moments in my life have happened when I was playing fast and free.
I'm currently studying art at uni and finding it very interesting. It's great to be back in education after leaving college for a whole host of reasons. I still believe that high-school and college aren't the best years of your life even if people claim they are. The best years of your life are when you're a poor student attempting just to live everyday in the confines of modern society. The confines of the city where boundaries exist but you can go out any night, and pick anyone up and fall in love anyday you chose and just as easily walk about it. Somedays I want to take the train home but now I feel I have no hope. I'm stuck in-between the city and the coutryside. A walking juxtaposition.
I seem to enjoy being with people who have little or nothing in common with me. I'd find it boring to talk to a mirror copy of me as it'd just be so predicatable. Even for a musician and an art student I chose generally not to hang around with them as I find them to smothering or too up themselves. I used to applaud the gay community and reallu enjoy the scene till this week when I was really let down by gay society as a whole. I feel alone in a world full of bitchy queens, lip gloss and kiss and tell. All I really want is to climb in bed at the end of the day and have someone in there who'll keep me warm and do the simple things with me. I love getting in the shower with someone else and being comfurtable enough to walk around naked infront of them.
Music:
Amanda Palmer
Dresden Dolls
Nellie Mckay
Laura Marling
Tori Amos
Gravy Train!!!
Heather Nova
Liz Phair
Charlotte Martin
Klaxons
Jacob Diefenbach
Rufus Wainwright
Martha Wainwright
Hole
Long Blondes
Pippettes
Films:
Bad education
All about my mother
Random things:
A cup of tea
St Moritz Menthol Cigarettes
Peanut Butter
Laying in bed talking |
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