Mme Bovary
female, 43 |
English Teacher
Shepperton / England
member since 23.08.2004
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I used to think that in life there were no answers (there certainly aren't many easy ones) only questions. However, I have come to realise that sometimes the answers can be hard to find - but NOT impossible. Okay, this may sound like total waffle to you, but that is because I have found one of the answers I was looking for (and no, it's not 42!) It's about believing in yourself, and simply just loving those around you. It's not an infallible credo, there's a destructive thing called self-doubt that corrodes when it's allowed too much sway. But the important thing is to retain that innate optimism we had as children; not to let the existence of pain take away the possibility of happiness, and to TRY to live each day without regret and without fear.
I like to believe that I am fairly successful in navigating the stagnant waters of social acceptibility. Thereby steering clear of the boundaries and restrictions which society strives to impose upon us. However, it is important to remember that just as we rise to one challenge, another will undoubtedly be placed before us. Nevertheless, I steadfastly aim to avoid that bland, blah thing called social/moral consensus, and even moreso, people who talk down to others out of some misplaced sense of moral or intellectual superiority.
I think that acquisitvemess and materialism are shabby and tawdry pursuits, and I can't abide it when people label someone as socially unacceptable just because they aren't sporting the 'right' label. (What's the matter with these people? Do they actually require a label because they are too thick - or too lazy - to bother trying to read someone's soul? Surely a more beautiful and worthy pastime anyway?)
May I just say, to anyone out there who has just been made redundant, that if I had not lost my boring - but practical - job in 2001, that here, in 2007, I would not be in the teaching profession. I don't like to be cheesy, but it is true that when life gives you lemons you should aim at making as much lemonade as possible: rather than just savouring the sour taste of your initial fate. I love my job - when I am not being harangued by hormonally-charged year nines - and I am so glad that life slid me a sideways pass at another life.
Tennyson wrote this, and it depicts a vision of how I want to live my life:
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
Finally I would add a small something to this profile: three years ago I met a wonderful human being here on flork. Since our first meeting, our love has flourished, strengthened, and grown: to become deeper and more significant than anything I have ever felt before. I think what I am trying to say is that it took me a very long time to find my way in life: personally and professionally. I would say to those out there who are still looking: step through the arch into the "untravelled" world, forget the destination, just enjoy the journey.
PS as at 27/12/08 I am still loving the man, the teaching, and the whole journey. |
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