william5289
male, 55 |
chef/food writer/restaurant critic
Virginia Beach/Wmsburg, Va. / USA
member since 24.09.2003
|
Several months ago, I had this little nipper of a lad show up on my door step claiming to be my son. I said to him "Well, it's great to meet you son...why don't we go to the bar and have a few drinks?" The little nipper looked up at me with these big round eyes and said, "But Dad, I am only nine years old! I don't drink yet!" I told him "Oh yeah? Well you are no son of mine!"
NEWS FLASH!!! I just had some great news!!! Maury Povich just informed me that I AM NOT THE FATHER!!!
"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That is the one thing I am indebted to her for." W.C. Fields.
No, the girl in the photo is not my girlfriend or ex-wife. Poor woman had her entire right side amputated...what you see is what's "left." I used to lovingly refer to her as my better half.
My latest literary work is a far-reaching sociological study that deals with the strife between the opposite sexes. "Men Are in Bars Where Women Look For Penis." You can find a copy in soft cover at 7-11 stores close to a trailer park near you.
This is serious: Begining this January first, I will be leaving the Hampton Roads area of Virginia for a cross country trip to the left coast. My itinerary, sans dates, will be as follows: Atlanta, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, El Paso, Phoenix, Las Vegas, L.A., San Francisco, Seattle and Vancouver. I will be driving with my Pomeranian, Mercedes. I will be doing a series of articles concerning some of the best known restaurants in each of these cities, and publishing them in my hometown newspaper. This adventure should take about 4 weeks...maybe longer if I am lucky. |
|
 |
